[Practice is] something you choose to do on a regular basis with no vision of an outcome; the aim is not improvement, not getting somewhere.” (p. 41)
Then she explains why practice is so valuable:
“At the beginning it’s something that you have chosen, that you wanted, but a week, a month in, you often meet resistance. Even if you love it, inertia, obstacles arise: I can make better use of my time, I’m tired, I’m hungry, this is stupid, I need to listen to the evening news. Here’s where you have an opportunity to meet your own mind, to examine what it does, its ploys and shenanigans. That’s ultimately what practice is: arriving at the front, and back door, of yourself.” (p. 41)
This examining of the mind is obviously very Zen, and, as with Writing Down the Bones, Goldberg approaches everything on the grounding of Zen practice, some of which is beyond my understanding. And yet, her chapter “What is Practice” gave me just enough insight to get a glimpse of what might be the power behind practice:
“Continual practice expresses your true determination, signals to your unconscious, to your deep resistance that you mean business. (And then your resistance roars louder and your roar back.) Over time, this practice kicks in that strong motor, that deep impersonal life force within you. It reinforces and supports your yes to life for no reason.” (p. 41)
“What practice builds in us is a true confidence that can’t be derived from outward signs of success, fame, money, beauty. This confidence comes from the fact that you show up over and over again. That you do what you say you were going to do. That you commit to a practice, one that is possible given your life and maybe with a few missed times, a few times you mess up, you stay in the driver’s seat.” (p. 42)
This is the revelation I’ve been looking for to explain why practice is so important: continued practice builds confidence because through it you conquer yourself, and thus the power rests with you. This is why practice is such a powerful tool. This is still a fragile insight for me, one that I want to hold on to, which is why I wrote this post, and why I want to share it.